SidSavara.com: Why Our New Year’s Resolutions Are Doomed Before We Even Begin - And What We Can Do About It
Jamie Harrop
· 11 months ago
If you were stranded on a desert island with nothing but you and nature, you'd have to stop smoking because there would be nothing to smoke. So people *can* stop smoking. They just have to *want it*. I think far too many people set New Years resolutions that they don't really want to achieve. They know they should set them because achieving them would mean a better life (no smoking, better eating etc), but deep down I don't really think they want to stop smoking or eat better because they enjoy both those things.
As for my dissolutions, I'd probably say TV is my biggest time waster. I spent about 40 hours a wake watching the likes of The Simpsons, CSI, NCIS, Sport and cooking programmes. Entertaining and fun, sure. Productive? Nope!
Thanks for the very interesting post, Sid. It's nice to see you back after the holiday break!
Jamie
Sid Savara
· 11 months ago
Definitely agree - there's a difference between truly desiring to change, and just saying you want to change. I'm sure there are many "social resolvers" (hehe) - people who don't really want to change their lives, but make resolutions because everyone else is. Thanks for the welcome back...to my own blog ;) Hehe
Jamie Harrop
· 11 months ago
Sorry. That was meant to say 40 hours a week. Doh! :-)
Jamie
Sid Savara
· 11 months ago
Too bad, I kind of liked 40 hours awake a week...
Steve
· 11 months ago
"No longer keep up with new music" Once every 6 months or so I use amazons "recommend for you" to find new albums that I would have missed. I then batch get the albums and have them ready to listen to. The whole process takes maybe a hour and considering all the good stuff that's touched my life I'd missed, I'll take it =]
Sid Savara
· 11 months ago
That's a great idea Steve! I love Amazon's recommendation engine as well.
Sounds to me like you've figured out how to distill months of music listening and sorting into a single, batch processed task - and used amazon to outsource the work of actually filtering through the music!
I enjoy using Amazon for the same reason, I used to enjoy constantly being on top of everything - I think i'll give your approach a try, maybe in a couple months instead of 6 =). I definitely don't want to give up music altogether either!
Small Footprints
· 11 months ago
Brilliant! I especially like the one about reducing self-inflicted junk mail. I'd add to that to reduce any kind of junk mail. It's the "green" thing to do. :)
Good point! I don't get as much junk mail as most people (in fact, I hardly get any). I'm not sure why, perhaps someone has flagged me on a list as a person who never responds and isn't worth marketing to =)
I know there are various companies that, for a fee, will remove you from direct marketing mailing lists. I can't vouch for them myself, perhaps I'll review some in the future
Rebecca Leaman
· 11 months ago
The idea of New Year's "Dissolutions" strikes me as a sound one, and I've already purged my Google Reader, working on the email junk mail one...
I think a lot of these information-overload life-clutter things happen in large part because of a sense of not wanting to "miss out"; the persistent delusion that there's one perfect shining piece of golden information out there that -- if we can only catch and absorb that nugget as it sails by!! -- will make all the difference & make sudden sense of all the rest of the bits of our lives. With that theory in mind, I'm resolving to "dissolve" and downsize my information intake in 2009.
Sid Savara
· 11 months ago
Haha. It's an annual ritual - year round, discover cool new blogs, add them to your reader - and at year end, look at your reader and wonder, why do I read all this stuff?
I definitely have that tension you describe of not wanting to miss out. I considered hiring an assistant to sort through all my reading, tried out AideRSS/Postrank etc - but *still* didn't find anything that quite was enough to make me feel at ease. I guess part of the problem is just because the general population likes something doesn't mean I will - and just because the general population doesn't, doesn't mean I prefer to ignore it either!
StumbleUpon is probably the best solution I have found - if it's good, and I have a good network of friends and people I follow, with similar interests to mine, eventually it will find it's way to me and I will read it =).
Kevin Crenshaw
· 11 months ago
Great idea: "dissolutions." I call this "disengaging."
Another great idea: A "burn box." Lets you disengage from paper without actually throwing it away. Take an empty box, throw stuff into if if you might ever need it. Throw away the bottom half of the box any time it fills up. Gives you 2-3 months to change your mind about anything, so you're not afraid to toss stuff. This is one tip shared in my company's customizable online time management training system (you can sign up free).
Hi Kevin, I like that concept of the burn box - I guess my only concern (like everyone else) is what if the time frame isn't long enough and you need something the day after. I definitely see the value in it though. Perhaps I'll check out Priacta and see what it's all about - although I won't commit to trying anything new just yet ;)
Ron@TheWisdomJournal
· 11 months ago
Love the idea of "dissoulutions." I've called these posteriorities rather than priorities because they need to be moved to the back of the line! Start each day with 5 things you won't do and 5 things you will!
Sid Savara
· 11 months ago
Haha! Nice one Ron. Love the word. I like the idea of picking 5 things you won't do today. Definitely see the value in it - review tasks, and decide which ones you won't do right then, rather than feeling bad at the end of the day when you couldn't get through it all!
Hamdani Amin
· 11 months ago
For me, I am still stick to my old resolutions which I wrote down 4 years ago. I look at it everyday and recite it 50 times a days.
Sid Savara
· 11 months ago
Hi Hamdani,
That's wonderful! I am guessing you must have it taped up or written somewhere that you can refer to easily and frequently =)
Janette Toral
· 11 months ago
Great thoughts there Sid. It reminds me of the "no thank you" and "not-to-do" list discussed by John Maxwell and Stephen Covey in some of their books. Other themes that I noticed people mention, even though not in their blogs, is to get their financial position in better shape. On your "dissolution" list. I know a lot of folks would love to do #2 if they are only better in managing time/commitments.
Sid Savara
· 11 months ago
Hi Busby, You're right, I can understand many people wish they had more time to keep up with their field and stay up to date with new developments. I think technical fields such as software development in particular have a problem with too much information - not only is tons of information produced, but the knowledge gained goes out of date so quickly. If I don't apply it, in 6 months it's obsolete - at which point I wonder, why did I waste any time reading about it? =)
Janette Toral
· 10 months ago
Hi Sid. I agree with you. I tried working around that by learning only those where I intend to teach or conduct a seminar later on. It has made the learning experience more targeted.
Ari Herzog
· 11 months ago
I haven't read Tim Ferris' book but I've heard enough people talk about it, I already know what it's about. Your reference to whatever on page 84 is something I read on Dan Schawbel's blog several months ago relating to the concept of "social proof." If enough people talk about something, you hear it, too. Hence, goodbye Techcrunch (though I hear Techcrunch UK is better).
But to the heart of your post: What is a new year's resolution in the first place and why must you make one? There was an article at the Brazen Careerist in the final days of December with the takeaway that you can make a resolution any day of the year. But do you?
Sid Savara
· 11 months ago
Hi Ari, Tim Ferris was absolutely everywhere online when his book came out - it seemed like half the blogs I read had a review!
I definitely agree - why not have spring resolutions, winter resolutions? ;)
I think *one* benefit of having a new year's resolution though is people seem to be more supportive of life changes during January, specifically for that reason - everyone's doing it. On the other hand, imagine trying to start a diet during Thanksgiving - socially less acceptable, and surely pulled in different directions by competing social/family demands.
Andre Kibbe
· 11 months ago
"I can hear the question now - if it’s on your @Someday list and it never gets done, what’s the point? The point is, if you don’t explicitly decide what is on your @Someday list, you implicitly put everything you aren’t actively working on on it."
Very true. Knowing the difference between things that aren't worth thinking about now and things that aren't worth thinking about at all is a crucial skill. The @Someday list gives you a placeholder to keep potential commitments conscious.
This is why "dissolutions" are so important. When we take on a new project, we don't do so in a vacuum. We need to not only want to do something, but want it enough to not to something else. I found myself suffering from time famine until I did an activity analysis and realized how much gratuitous reading I was indulging in during the week, so I made a rule to batch all of my discretionary reading for Sunday. No books, magazines, blogs, etc. That one dissolution freed up so much time that for the first couple of days, I sometimes didn't know what to do with myself.
If you're going to make a resolution, try to define when and where working on it needs to happen, then see what habitual activities you can prune to make space for it.
Sid Savara
· 11 months ago
Hi Andre, That's wonderful. I agree that sitting at a computer, I could waste hours every day if I wanted to. Just like you, I try and batch my online reading - though I'm not yet at once a week =)
"freed up so much time that for the first couple of days, I sometimes didn't know what to do with myself"
This is a point Tim Ferris brings up in the Four Hour Work Week as well - initially it is hard to pull away from being "busy" (checking email, reading online, etc etc) but perhaps what is even more difficult is once we pull away from it, finding activities that are meaningful and enriching to fill that time.
All Comments
As for my dissolutions, I'd probably say TV is my biggest time waster. I spent about 40 hours a wake watching the likes of The Simpsons, CSI, NCIS, Sport and cooking programmes. Entertaining and fun, sure. Productive? Nope!
Thanks for the very interesting post, Sid. It's nice to see you back after the holiday break!
Jamie
and just saying you want to change. I'm sure there are many "social
resolvers" (hehe) - people who don't really want to change their lives, but
make resolutions because everyone else is.
Thanks for the welcome back...to my own blog ;) Hehe
Jamie
Once every 6 months or so I use amazons "recommend for you" to find new albums that I would have missed. I then batch get the albums and have them ready to listen to. The whole process takes maybe a hour and considering all the good stuff that's touched my life I'd missed, I'll take it =]
Sounds to me like you've figured out how to distill months of music
listening and sorting into a single, batch processed task - and used amazon
to outsource the work of actually filtering through the music!
I enjoy using Amazon for the same reason, I used to enjoy constantly being
on top of everything - I think i'll give your approach a try, maybe in a
couple months instead of 6 =). I definitely don't want to give up music
altogether either!
Thanks for sharing your thoughts!
Small Footprints
http://reducefootprints.blogspot.com
get any). I'm not sure why, perhaps someone has flagged me on a list as a
person who never responds and isn't worth marketing to =)
I know there are various companies that, for a fee, will remove you from
direct marketing mailing lists. I can't vouch for them myself, perhaps I'll
review some in the future
I think a lot of these information-overload life-clutter things happen in large part because of a sense of not wanting to "miss out"; the persistent delusion that there's one perfect shining piece of golden information out there that -- if we can only catch and absorb that nugget as it sails by!! -- will make all the difference & make sudden sense of all the rest of the bits of our lives. With that theory in mind, I'm resolving to "dissolve" and downsize my information intake in 2009.
to your reader - and at year end, look at your reader and wonder, why do I
read all this stuff?
I definitely have that tension you describe of not wanting to miss out. I
considered hiring an assistant to sort through all my reading, tried out
AideRSS/Postrank etc - but *still* didn't find anything that quite was
enough to make me feel at ease. I guess part of the problem is just because
the general population likes something doesn't mean I will - and just
because the general population doesn't, doesn't mean I prefer to ignore it
either!
StumbleUpon is probably the best solution I have found - if it's good, and I
have a good network of friends and people I follow, with similar interests
to mine, eventually it will find it's way to me and I will read it =).
Another great idea: A "burn box." Lets you disengage from paper without actually throwing it away. Take an empty box, throw stuff into if if you might ever need it. Throw away the bottom half of the box any time it fills up. Gives you 2-3 months to change your mind about anything, so you're not afraid to toss stuff. This is one tip shared in my company's customizable online time management training system (you can sign up free).
Kevin Crenshaw
http://www.priacta.com/Training/troonline.php
Hope this helps!
I like that concept of the burn box - I guess my only concern (like everyone
else) is what if the time frame isn't long enough and you need something the
day after. I definitely see the value in it though. Perhaps I'll check out
Priacta and see what it's all about - although I won't commit to trying
anything new just yet ;)
won't do today. Definitely see the value in it - review tasks, and decide
which ones you won't do right then, rather than feeling bad at the end of
the day when you couldn't get through it all!
That's wonderful! I am guessing you must have it taped up or written
somewhere that you can refer to easily and frequently =)
You're right, I can understand many people wish they had more time to keep
up with their field and stay up to date with new developments. I think
technical fields such as software development in particular have a problem
with too much information - not only is tons of information produced, but
the knowledge gained goes out of date so quickly. If I don't apply it, in 6
months it's obsolete - at which point I wonder, why did I waste any time
reading about it? =)
But to the heart of your post: What is a new year's resolution in the first place and why must you make one? There was an article at the Brazen Careerist in the final days of December with the takeaway that you can make a resolution any day of the year. But do you?
Tim Ferris was absolutely everywhere online when his book came out - it
seemed like half the blogs I read had a review!
I definitely agree - why not have spring resolutions, winter resolutions?
;)
I think *one* benefit of having a new year's resolution though is people
seem to be more supportive of life changes during January, specifically for
that reason - everyone's doing it. On the other hand, imagine trying to
start a diet during Thanksgiving - socially less acceptable, and surely
pulled in different directions by competing social/family demands.
Very true. Knowing the difference between things that aren't worth thinking about now and things that aren't worth thinking about at all is a crucial skill. The @Someday list gives you a placeholder to keep potential commitments conscious.
This is why "dissolutions" are so important. When we take on a new project, we don't do so in a vacuum. We need to not only want to do something, but want it enough to not to something else. I found myself suffering from time famine until I did an activity analysis and realized how much gratuitous reading I was indulging in during the week, so I made a rule to batch all of my discretionary reading for Sunday. No books, magazines, blogs, etc. That one dissolution freed up so much time that for the first couple of days, I sometimes didn't know what to do with myself.
If you're going to make a resolution, try to define when and where working on it needs to happen, then see what habitual activities you can prune to make space for it.
That's wonderful. I agree that sitting at a computer, I could waste hours
every day if I wanted to. Just like you, I try and batch my online reading
- though I'm not yet at once a week =)
"freed up so much time that for the first couple of days, I sometimes didn't
know what to do with myself"
This is a point Tim Ferris brings up in the Four Hour Work Week as well -
initially it is hard to pull away from being "busy" (checking email, reading
online, etc etc) but perhaps what is even more difficult is once we pull
away from it, finding activities that are meaningful and enriching to fill
that time.